Five Minute Friday:Loud
My school's bathroom graffiti is actually extremely profound. Like this one I saw this morning and went back to copy
But maybe one who's being used for a purpose bigger than herself. Better an impermanent life roaring faith and love and Jesus then to live forever with a fake stem and gaudy colors. Better that we live while we still have today than saving all our real life for tomorrow. Better we scream what we believe until our throats ache than go one more day with could haves or should haves. I want a life like that. One that's not easily forgotten, not because of who I am, but how God has revealed himself in me. I want to be able to lose myself in giving him praise in ALL things, not just at church. I want to be able to get lost in prayer even when I know people are looking. I want to get entirely wrapped up in the person of Jesus Christ, so much so that I'm not afraid of death or failure or the tough conversations. How I wish I wasn't afraid of being left behind, excluded, being unimportant or unheard. I wish I had never sent that email or posted that status or judged that person or watched that movie. But I have and it's a part of who I am. Just like this blog and reading and the things I know God is doing in my life. I'm trying to live unafraid, presenting not just my good side, but those times where I pull at my hair and make others do the same. I'm trying to say or do the right thing and be honest about where I fall, but I know that I'm not there yet.
My school's bathroom graffiti is actually extremely profound. Like this one I saw this morning and went back to copy
"There is beauty in impermanence,beauty in a flower that blooms and dies but leaves an impression of eternity in the minds of all who saw it. Better is a flower that is only temporary than a plastic one, all done up with fake and gaudy colorsIt's true. And living fake is possibly the dumbest thing I have ever done. I know I am a sinner saved by grace, but I think sometimes it loses meaning to me.Every single time I've screwed up, I was pretending to be someone else, someone braver, stronger, wiser. I wrote probably the most honest post two weeks ago and deleted it within the hour. I'm downright dumb sometimes. I probably lost my Kindle, and have broken at least ten pairs of earbuds. I mentally commended myself for being modest this morning with my adjusted tank top, not too miniskirt and babydoll sweater when a girl got called out for wearing a low cut dress to school. I was pretending to be higher, better, more holy than the girl in front of me because of how I dress and what I don't do. I may think I've redeemed myself by my typing these things, but I'm still a screwup.
But maybe one who's being used for a purpose bigger than herself. Better an impermanent life roaring faith and love and Jesus then to live forever with a fake stem and gaudy colors. Better that we live while we still have today than saving all our real life for tomorrow. Better we scream what we believe until our throats ache than go one more day with could haves or should haves. I want a life like that. One that's not easily forgotten, not because of who I am, but how God has revealed himself in me. I want to be able to lose myself in giving him praise in ALL things, not just at church. I want to be able to get lost in prayer even when I know people are looking. I want to get entirely wrapped up in the person of Jesus Christ, so much so that I'm not afraid of death or failure or the tough conversations. How I wish I wasn't afraid of being left behind, excluded, being unimportant or unheard. I wish I had never sent that email or posted that status or judged that person or watched that movie. But I have and it's a part of who I am. Just like this blog and reading and the things I know God is doing in my life. I'm trying to live unafraid, presenting not just my good side, but those times where I pull at my hair and make others do the same. I'm trying to say or do the right thing and be honest about where I fall, but I know that I'm not there yet.
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