Confession time. Half the time, I have no clue what I'm doing. Possibly more than half. I don't know how to grocery shop or parallel park or even how to order in a restaurant without feeling really awkward. I don't know why all these things bother me and sometimes I wonder why others never talk about feeling the same way. Am I the only one who just doesn't like to be around people sometimes? Am I the only socially special person here?
I'm going to a foreign country in four days without my family, with thirteen others and a 22 by 14 by 9 suitcase filled with a week's worth of earthly possessions. The people don't speak our language, it's going to be smoking hot and I'm the youngest one on the trip and am terrified of being left behind or abandoned or misunderstood. I don't know what to pack, let alone how to actually be useful and coherent down there. But something's going to happen
I finished junior year. I only have one more year left in this beautiful little town I've grown to love over the past seven years with the people who taught me about myself and Jesus and community. And then I'll leave and go to a college I don't know with people I don't know away from the people I do know, especially my family.
I start senior year in three months. I lead a group of freshmen and introduce them to highschool life in August and take on a whole new leadership role to them. I turn seventeen in August.
God expects all this from a girl who manages to lose her family in the grocery store?
I'm not alone in this. I know I'm not. And I know I'm growing and I'm farther along now then I was yesterday or last week or last year. I don't see the growth right now, but I know it's there. I know God gives me things I can't handle on my own in order to turn my face to him. I know I won't go at it alone. I know I have my own way to make things work and the majority of it is Him picking me up after I fall and encouraging me to try again. My parents and friends that I'm admiring have all made their own mistakes and they're learning their own life lessons, just like I've made mine and am learning mine. And I'm surrounded by a God and family who love me more than I can imagine.
I think I'm going to be OK.
I'm going to a foreign country in four days without my family, with thirteen others and a 22 by 14 by 9 suitcase filled with a week's worth of earthly possessions. The people don't speak our language, it's going to be smoking hot and I'm the youngest one on the trip and am terrified of being left behind or abandoned or misunderstood. I don't know what to pack, let alone how to actually be useful and coherent down there. But something's going to happen
I finished junior year. I only have one more year left in this beautiful little town I've grown to love over the past seven years with the people who taught me about myself and Jesus and community. And then I'll leave and go to a college I don't know with people I don't know away from the people I do know, especially my family.
I start senior year in three months. I lead a group of freshmen and introduce them to highschool life in August and take on a whole new leadership role to them. I turn seventeen in August.
God expects all this from a girl who manages to lose her family in the grocery store?
I'm not alone in this. I know I'm not. And I know I'm growing and I'm farther along now then I was yesterday or last week or last year. I don't see the growth right now, but I know it's there. I know God gives me things I can't handle on my own in order to turn my face to him. I know I won't go at it alone. I know I have my own way to make things work and the majority of it is Him picking me up after I fall and encouraging me to try again. My parents and friends that I'm admiring have all made their own mistakes and they're learning their own life lessons, just like I've made mine and am learning mine. And I'm surrounded by a God and family who love me more than I can imagine.
I think I'm going to be OK.
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Word of the day: Path
Word of the day: Path
Wow, I think you're going to be ok too!! I used to be a social butterfly but having gotten older, dealing with medical problems that keep me secluded with only social media to feel connected, I can understand a bit. More and more I realize I am relying on my computer and really hate actually talking on the phone. Thanks for the inspiration and can't wait to hear about your trip.
ReplyDeleteHey, thanks Stephanie! That was quick :) I wanted to visit your blog to say hi, but apparently it contains adult content. Alas! Hope you have a wonderful Friday!
ReplyDeleteAs I read your post, I kept hearing my heart exclaim, "WOW! If only you had had that much faith at her age, Stacy. If only you were that grounded and that vulnerably-secure in Jesus when you were heading into your senior year. If only you had been willing to step out of your comfort zone and follow HIS call at that age.....WOW!"
ReplyDeleteYou are my inspiration, ALyssa Joy!
Vaya con Dios....Go with God -
into the grocery store
into your senior year
into the land to which He is calling you
into your future and your God-given destiny!
Praying for you....and thanking God for your words!
~Stacy