messed up, convoluted, mulittasking worship

Happy Tuesday y'all ;) I think most of us have this holiday weekend off, and it couldn't have come at a better time. Despite the fact that I have exams next week and a speech next Monday (eep! Hate those thngs) today's been one of those
not at all productive however thoroughly enoyable day. From FCA to kick off the day to making cornbread with third graders and seeing how amazing they are at making one feel loved, even to dashing back to Saine High at least ten mnutes late to my next class as a result of that love, and ending with Drama Club and dinner with the family. So it's been a good day.

I've gotten into the habit of not reading my Bible a whole lot, even during the weekends. It's like I'm at a standstill and just waiting for the right book or message or song to get me started again. So if anyne has a suggestion of a good book or how to be interested in the Word again, I'm all ears.

I've been thinking a lot about songs lately. Like thos really good ones that have lyrics that make you think that the artist knows you better then you know youself and the words just keep running through your head. One of the ones I was humming today was a Sanctus Real song, The Redeemer, especially the part
so I'd rather speak honestly
and wear a tattered heart on my sleeve
cuz in the middle of my broken dreams
redemption is here
I love the heart on your sleeve reference, because I feel like sometimes I make such an idiot of myself . Like today I was running down the hallway looking for the printer in room 112 and berating myself and getting so frustrated because I just couldn't figure out where the heck it could be. I mean, it''s a room and I've been at the high school for almost three years now, and just today figured out where it is (the lights were turned off).I was actually almost to the chin wrinkling point, pretty close to actually crying, just because of my frustration that I was five mnutes late, couldn't figure out where the printer was and no one seemed to care what was happening to me. So that was the epitome of my second hour. AND I was ten minutes late to third because I was too busy saying goodbye to my Harvest kids. But such is life. Anyway, worship. Honestly, I think it can be as simple as walking down the hallway humming. It's not one of those things where you have to be kneeling or have your eyes closed. I think God smiles a little when I try to hum Deep from VBS, because it's just such a Detroit song and it feels so weird to be in school singing something I associate so closely with summer. Maybe it's reaching to find him in everyday life.  In the shower, walking alone, running frantically through a parking lot. Along time ago, before summer ended, I copied a whole chapter of Ragamuffin Gospel into one of my notebooks, and the last part in there before I got bored got busy was how our relationship with God is like that of a child trying to help his or her dad with a chore. They may not be terribly efficient and the 'help' may be nothing more then getting in the way, but in the end, it comes down to each wanting the other to be pleased. Not that God has to answer to what I think of him, but I think that even when I forget smething, or trip or say something dumb or something doesn't go accorindg to plan or even if I just plain old sin, he smiles just because he loves me and it's all OK. No ifs ands or buts about it. God's been chasing me all these years. Through my stealing phase and lying phase and awkward phase, and a bunch of phases that I'm actually still working through. So I don't think he'll give up on me just because I can really step on some toes. And for that I am most definitely thankful.